So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
