I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
