i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
