just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
