you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
