chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
