i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
