Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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