Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
