I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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