I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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