dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
