i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
