Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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