i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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