I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
