I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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