i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
