Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
