there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize