the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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