Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
