you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
