and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
