Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
