watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
