Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
