11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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