I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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