That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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