I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize