i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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