Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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