I just saw a hot homeless man
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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