guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
