you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
