I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
