i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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