Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
