So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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