remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
