make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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