We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
