I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
