All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
