I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
