Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
