i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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