I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She's the barista slut.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
