I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
