Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
