Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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