Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
