all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
