there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you win again, gameday.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
