i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
