I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she smelled like a LAN party
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize