so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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