No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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