You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
