fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
