That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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