It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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