I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
