I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
