i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
