New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
there is glitter all over my balls
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