Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
