I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
